After i got this dream yesterday, I was thinking about that the whole day , which made me really inquisitive , and I started surfing the internet and also had a chat with my psychologist about this dream.... The answer i got about this nightmare was really interesting.....
Present nightmares can be rooted in past neglect and trauma from childhood. From lack of love, neglect, alcoholism, to severe abuse, family members can be the most destructive influence on a person's life. Nightmares may be a sign of an inner turmoil.
This fact reminded of me about my personal trauma. I stutter.It came to me as a genetic factor. Actually people think that stuttering is an usual one,which does not need any special concerns as it would be necessary for other physical disabilities. I ask them this question "How many times you stutter in a sentence ?" once or not even once. But the real stuttering happens when one stutter atleast 5 words per 7 worded sentence.. Think of the agony one will feel while speaking .... The disinterested look on the listener, the way they react in public would surely demoralize anyone . More of public humiliation and embarrassment made my life miserable. People will think a lot before giving me any responsibility. Mockings and talkings behind my back....Oh My god ... That was the worst phase of my life...The most painful moment was when i got ditched and ill treated by whole gang of my "so called friends" in my apartment for almost 10 years of my childhood life.
Moreover, My difficulty cannot be said as disability, so no concerns from any firms or government. But I believe in CHANGE. Change is inevitable. I started rediscovering myself.
Now am a good sketching artist with loads of confidence on myself. But whenever i think of my past, I still feel the pain of my inner wound. Yesterday afternoon I saw one of my old "friend" in my apartment . when i saw him/her face to face, he/she gave me the worst possible humiliating smile at me. I was thinking of that the whole day. The smile that I saw on the man's face in my dream was the same that i encountered yesterday. Oh ya...Atlast i found out the answer for my dream. Today i dint get any dreams and was probably because I was more contented with my probings about my dream......
Sunday, January 11, 2009
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1 comments:
is nt it my story ...
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